We Laid Her to Rest
Thursday, December 2nd, 2021 - Syracuse City Cemetery
If a day so difficult could be so perfect, this was that day. It was a beautiful day to honor our girl. For a December day in Utah, the sun was hot and the air was crisp- couldn’t ask for better.
We started the morning off with this classic one liner from Matt, “You know how they say you’ll be late to your own funeral?? Well, we’re going to be late to our own daughter’s!” And we were… but that’s beside the point.
Matt drove, his cousin Gabe in the front seat and Leila and I in the back on the way to the funeral home to greet a small group of friends and family and see our girl for the last time.
Through this time one of the most difficult things has been explaining to a two-year-old what was going on. Matt and I had a conversation with Leila to start the morning and told her that she was finally going to be able to see baby Josie. Since we had come home from the hospital two weeks prior, she was still insisting that Mommy had a baby in her belly - a kick the throat after everything had happened. We felt we needed to prepare her for the day, so we told her that baby Josie would not be coming home and that she would look like she was sleeping. Fearful of scaring her for every future time she or a friend or family member got “sick” we wanted to be a bit more specific than “Josie was sick” in our explanation, so we chose to tell her that her heart was not working, and she had died. She was concerned with the news but was excited to meet “Baby Josie”.
On the way to the funeral home Leila delivered another blow by asking, why can’t we bring Baby Sister home? And then the kicker, “Well, maybe we can try again for another baby?” Sometimes I swear these kids are too smart for their own good.
Arriving late, as I mentioned, most of our friends and family had already gathered but had held off on seeing our girl. We walked into the room she was in and saw the tiniest coffin you could imagine. It’s funny now to think of the stuffed animal (a white tiger Matt got me on our first trip away together) we had brought to put in the coffin with her - it was bigger than both Josie and the coffin. We were able to wrap her in a beautiful burial blanket Matt’s Aunt Jeanne made with Angel wings embroidered on it, and a Real Salt Lake scarf.
We greeted and hugged each of our friends there and introduced them to our girl.
We were blessed with dozens of our friends and family in attendance for Josie’s gravesite service.
It was important to us that as many family members as possible could be involved. Josie’s only surviving Grandfather read a welcome. Both our brothers, both named Will, read poems that we selected. Matt’s cousin, Gabe, read Josie’s obituary. Crazy to think we were able to write a page obituary on an individual who never took a breath earthside. Just goes to show - every life matters.
Lifelong friend of Matt’s, Garrett Frost, officiated the service. And our friend through soccer, Chris Duran was there to give the blessings and prayers.
Homesick, by Emily Bea was played. The daughter of some dear friends, a local artist who lost her twin sister just a few short days after birth, wrote this song. Her parents Brian and Michelle came to the hospital the morning Josie came and gave us a blessing.
After all the poems, and readings, Matt and I addressed everyone and said a little something to end the ceremony.
In preparation for the day, I reached out to a few friends who agreed to be “on call” for when the time came to take pictures at the services. Reina Trejo and Michelle Wixom blessed us with their photography skills and helped us capture the day.
We are so grateful for these photos to remember a hard yet special day.
On the way home where friends and family gathered for a luncheon, Leila asked, “Why did we leave Baby Sister in the dirt?” These are the moments that leave you completely speechless. How do you answer your innocent two-year-old who couldn’t wait to hug her sister and bring her home?? Almost a year later I’m still at a loss.
